By Kestrel on 6/8/00

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"Not again," I groaned as I awaited the response from the male clerk with whom I had begun a conversation about gaming. How many times would I hear this or some variation of his inevitable response? I held my breath, and my tongue, as I waited for him to put the fantasy game (book, magazine - it could be anything like that) in the bag and give me my change. I take another quick look around the shop (as a warrior might study for the quickest escape route), and then it grates on my nerves like a rusty dagger against the bones of an ancient skeletal warrior.

It begins with, "Huh. You don't seem like a female gamer." That leads to (and I have heard these, folks!) "Wow!" (as they look at me harder) "I thought you were just buying it for your boyfriend," "Do you hate men?" and "You're very pretty for a gamer."

I used to think that the thing that bothered me most was that guys just thought that girls didn't, or couldn't, play computer games, read fantasy, or be interested in RPG. My first negative memories of being a female RPG fan (and everything related to it) involved walking into the local gaming shop to pick up Dragon magazine and having the guys completely ignore me or make that "Oh here comes one of them" elitist look at their co-worker. Don't get me wrong - that gets me pretty mad, but for years I fought the stereotype in school with the whole "girls don't play with cars" argument so I was pretty used to that sort of reaction. In addition, I was raised a Trekkie by my dad, and he always wanted me to be the girl who proved she could be just as smart and devious as the guys, so I knew I had his support no matter what the world said. My most intense angst was roused by a truly more insulting stereotype which I would encounter later in life. A disturbing number of times, at anything from computer game discussions to sci-fi/RPG conventions, I have felt like many male gamers viewed me as a strange, elusive creature, possibly even bordering on the bizarre. I am a friendly, social, fairly attractive, fashion conscious and non male-bashing woman (any of these traits sound familiar?). Yet, somewhere along the lines some guys have developed the idea that this is abnormal for women gamers. Wow! Is that a slap in the face! Is it because they feel so threatened by the presence of women in a male-dominated genre that they have to view any woman that games as a cross between Attila the Hun and a militant "kill-all-men" feminist? I'm not sure how this makes other women feel but I find it extremely insulting.

Personally speaking, I don't think it's very fair for people to think it is strange for me to pick up a copy of PC Gamer along with a copy of Allure magazine at the bookstore. It is almost as if men think that by becoming a gamer we are trying to become male, and thereby sacrificing our femininity. By seeking out a strong female character they assume we want a character that is going to run around and kill all men to prove we are better. That has hardly been my goal. I just ask for some equality and some respect from the opposite sex , not complete obliteration of the it. Quite frankly, I would miss having them around…They do have their uses… jk :)

So where does that leave us? We seem to have moved from one stereotype to the next; although, in all fairness I can say at least that this case puts the stereotype of women gamers in the same boat as the stereotype for male gamers. After all, I've known several females who think guys who are into gaming are geeks and nerds. The bottom line is that I'm personally tired of operating from one stereotype to another. I'm tired of being viewed as an oddity because I don't conform to what certain people think a female gamer should act, look or carry themselves like. I don't want to be typecast to approach men a certain way because I am a female gamer, and I don't need people to think I have a confrontational approach as a woman in gaming when what I really have is a recreational approach to the games. It is a game after all, and I think people need to know that we women have a zest for life that is equal to our enthusiasm for the games we love!

>> Additional Reading: Game Shopping in England