Gamer Shame: Or Why I Was a Closet Gamer

[Circe]

As the gaming industry ponders how to draw more women into the world of gaming with discussions of content, images of women in-game, and issues with technology, I suggest that one of the largest barriers to women becoming full-fledged gamers is what I call <a href="http://www.womengamers.com/articles/gamershame.php">Gamer Shame</a>.

[Athena]

Great article Fizgig! You hit the nail on the head!

[Calisto]

wow, great article. I don't hide my status as a gamer very often, but I do get those glazed looks, so it's not something I talk about a lot or bring up in conversation. Maybe i should

[Savina]

Every time I walk into a game store to check out the latest, I cringe when the 14 year old employee asks what kinds of games my kids like to play.

This used to be "boyfriend" instead of "kids" before the guys at EB started recognizing me
It's frustrating to be an adult woman gamer sometimes, but I've relied on one principle: who cares what others think?!

[Itanya_Blade]

Try being the woman on the other side of the counter sometimes. You have no idea how many men/boys would outright ignore me to talk to the kid standing next to me.

What was really funny was when the kid would turn to me to repeat the customer’s question.

I do have to say, with all honesty, that I tend to frequent the stores where I have worked. Most of the people I worked with at the EB out here have moved to other stores. I will go to their stores before I will walk into a new store (aside from the big chains), It’s just not worth the hassle.

[Atari]

I've been the woman on the other side of the counter. I remember one time there was a huge line of people at the register... and this guy was waiting on the side for the cashier to have a second to answer his question when I was completely open to help him. He seemed rather shocked when I asked if I could help him... like how could I possible help him right?

Perhaps he was beyond help.

I have no shame, but I've gotten plenty of looks when I talk about gaming. I still get them too. All I have to say is that I work on a site called WomenGamers.Com and people think I'm completely nuts.

[Weapon X]

I have no shame, but I've gotten plenty of looks when I talk about gaming. I still get them too. All I have to say is that I work on a site called WomenGamers.Com and people think I'm completely nuts.

Whereas all I have to say is that I'm a member of WomenGamers.com and I'm looked at like some sort of pervert. Jesus! It's only games. People should just grow up.

[Calisto]

I have no shame, but I've gotten plenty of looks when I talk about gaming. I still get them too. All I have to say is that I work on a site called WomenGamers.Com and people think I'm completely nuts.

I get those too when I talk about mine or the other work I do related to gaming I'm always pleasantly surprised when someone says "really? that's so cool" or w/e. Makes me feel there's hope out there yet

[Itanya_Blade]

Subtlety has never been one of my strong points. Just yesterday I was in my bosses office talking to another employee. We were sharing horror stories about daylong gaming sessions. My boss is no longer surprised by these things; she just rolled her eyes and laughed.

I think the hardest part of any of this for me is meeting other couples. Most of them I know have a guy that is hardcore with a woman that’s only mediocre. Sometimes, I would like to have a hardcore gamer chick to talk to.

On the other hand, poor Raz is normally dragged to RP events, where all we talk about is role-playing. While he is moderately interested in RP, he’s not hardcore like his wife. I feel sorry for him… almost.

[phoenicia]

That was a very good article! I know exactly what you mean. Try being a girl in college who is in a soroity and being a gamer. Technically, I don't have any gaming systems here (I wouldn't get anything done!), but I still play every time I go home. I'm not really embarrassed to tell people anymore, but it's not something that I necessarilly bring up.

One thing that I noticed is that guys think it's cool when girls like video games, but it's girls that give me those glazed over - why would you want to do that - looks.

[Belisama]

One thing that I noticed is that guys think it's cool when girls like video games, but it's girls that give me those glazed over - why would you want to do that - looks.

Yes! This is by the far the worst part. I don't know any face-to-face women gamers, it's all guys and after the initial surprise, they have no trouble whatsoever.

Sometimes, I would like to have a hardcore gamer chick to talk to.

That's why I like it here so much! Now, if I could just get all you guys to move, we'd be set!

em

[brinstar]

Great article.

[DavPilky]

Ditto. Great article Fizwig.

--DP

[sainte-therese]

I don't understand the stereotype about gamers all being social outcast types, or at best, a little eccentric. When I was a kid in the 1980s there was actually something of a "hip" aura around games, I can remember when owning an NES was something of a status symbol. Because I play games but havent ever really been one to be part of the " gaming scene" or up on cultural stereotypes in general, I don't know when it ceased to be considered acceptable mainstream entertainment and started to be seen as a sort of niche market for "weirdos and geeks". In my younger days, EVERYONE played, it seemed. How many people do you know who spent all of their free time parked in front of a TV? Probably more than a few; and there really aren't really prejudices floating around about that. It is seen as perfectly normal to be a coach potato. I guess some forms of electronic entertainment aren't equal with other forms.

[phoenicia]

NES was the coolest!! I stil have mine and still enjoy playing it from time to time. In my neighborhood, we all gathered to play for hours a day!